Page 13 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

sad fact so much that we pretend that it will never happen. Maybe one day it can
happen to someone somewhere, but not to us... never.

Of course, all the charm of our wonderful evening disappeared and I did not wish
to dream anymore about anything. Life again gave me to understand that no matter
how hard we try, there are not so many things in this world which we, actually,
can control. My grandpa’s death indeed turned my life whole upside-down. He died
in my hands when I was just six years old. It happened in an early sunny morning
when everything around seemed to be so happy, tender and kind. The first morning
birds joyfully called to one another in the garden, merrily passing the latest news to
each other. A pink-cheeked dawn, still soft after the last morning sleep, was about to
open its eyes, washed by the morning dew. The air exhaled an amazingly delicious
fragrance from the multitude of summer flowers.
Life was so pure and beautiful! There was no way one could imagine that a
misfortune could suddenly and pitilessly burst into such a fairy-tale-wonderful world.
It just did not have any right to do so!!! But it is not in vain that they say misfortune
always comes uninvited, never asking permission to enter. This morning it entered
our home, without knocking, and effortlessly destroyed my so well protected, carefree
and sunny child’s world, leaving unbearable pain and the terrible and cold emptiness
of the first loss in my life.

That morning my grandpa and I were going to go for a walk in our forest to pick
the wild strawberries which I liked very much. As I calmly waited for him outside, it
suddenly seemed to me that a piercing icy wind blew from somewhere and an
enormous black shadow came down to earth. I felt scared and lonely. There was
nobody in the house in that moment except for my grandpa and I decided to go to
check whether he was all right. He lay on his bed very pale and somehow I understood
at once that he was dying. I rushed to him, hugged and began to shake, trying by all
means to return him back. Then I began to yell and call for help. It was very strange:
nobody heard me and came to help for some reason, although I knew that everybody
was somewhere close by and must hear me. I did not understand then that it was my
soul that cried…
I had a terrible feeling that time had stopped and we were both out of it, as if
someone had placed us in a glass sphere where there was neither life nor time. And
then I felt as if my hair stood on end. I will never forget that feeling, even if I live for
a hundred years!

I saw a transparent luminous spirit that came out of my grandpa’s body and, on
floating to me, it began to softly flow into me. I was terribly scared at first, but then
I felt soothing warmth and for some reason understood that nothing bad could happen
to me. The spirit like a luminous stream, easily and softly flowed into me, and became
smaller and smaller, as if gradually "melting", and I felt as if my body became
enormous, vibrating and extraordinarily light, almost "soaring".
It was a moment of confluence with something uncommonly substantial, all-
embracing and incredibly important to me. And then there was a terrible and
engrossing pain from the loss which swept over me like a black wave, crushing any
attempt of mine to resist it. I cried so much at the funeral that my parents were afraid

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