Page 109 - The Mirror of My Soul. Vol. 1

Nicolai Levashov. The Mirror of My Soul. Vol. 1. Born in the USSR

Who knows what would have happened to me, if I had not fixed my eyes on the

sky! But now, I can only guess about it, and I have no wish to go back to the past and
look at how it would be if things had turned out differently. One way or another, I paid
attention to the space terminators and, thanks to new qualities and structures of the brain
I had created before, I succeeded in converting the hunters into the “game”.

* * *
I understood perfectly that those terminators were only “instruments” and followed
orders, therefore their neutralization would not solve the problem, because their masters
would send a new group instead, most likely more powerful and numerous. Therefore,
the only way to prevent the appearance of more groups was to “settle the affair” with
those who had sent them.

I had no alternative; nobody would give me time for thinking and preparation,
therefore I decided to act immediately, with whatever level of readiness and abilities I
had at that moment. You never know in such situations, whether you have enough forces,
qualities, flexibility and mobility of mind to win such a war. Going into battle alone, you
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are absolutely unaware of what kind of a “dragon” you will fight, how many “heads ”
and how and with what weapon these “heads” can be separated from the “body”. It is
also unknown, how many “dragons” will fight against you, and also, whether they will
adhere to the rules of the knight's ethics—when all together do not attack one on his
own.

I have learnt from my own experience that all my enemies were not brought up on
novels about knight's honour and military valour; they reminded me rather of a horde of
hyenas which at-tack from the rear, falling upon their enemy when he is asleep, tired or
injured. Therefore, I decided to act immediately against the whole system, without even
waiting to recover from certain damages done by the first detachment of terminators. I
had two choices—either to act at once and possibly win, or wait for the unknown and
have to go into battle just the same when I least expected it: there-fore, my chances to
win would be considerably diminished.

I chose the first—not because I was absolutely self-confident and presumptuous—
I simply had no alternative. When you have no choice, you have to act in conditions with
many unknown parameters and to clear them up during your operations, as well as find
new solutions in the very short term: to change yourself during the battle and create
conditions for possible victory. The point is that in spite of the qualitative changes and
transformations which I had done to myself, I had absolutely no idea about a lot of the
phenomena I came across in those situations, whilst my enemies had.

It was perfectly possible that I had something my opponents lacked, but also they
possessed a lot of qualities which I did not have. Everything that was unknown to me
and that the other side owned was very dangerous for me. According to my conceptions,
I created different systems of defense, which were very effective until they found loop-
holes in my systems and delivered the blows there.

This state of affairs, when my enemies had characteristics and qualities which I
lacked, or was unaware of, was tantamount to being defenseless. Therefore, they always
struck their blows exactly where they could possibly eliminate me. My life was at stake

29 In Slavic fairy-tales a dragon is called Zmey (snake) Gorynych. It has 3, 6, 9 or 12 heads that grow back if every single
head isn't cut off.
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