Page 110 - The Mirror of My Soul. Vol. 1

Nicolai Levashov. The Mirror of My Soul. Vol. 1. Born in the USSR

in this “game”. Being attacked, I had only a few seconds, sometimes less, to find the gap

or breaches in my defense, which appeared as a result of enemies’ blows aimed at my
destruction, and I had to create the necessary properties and qualities, which I lacked,
without leaving the field of battle. In this case it did become possible to patch gaps in
my defense and give an adequate rebuff to my enemies, taking advantage of what I
already had.

These flaws of mine, discovered in such unusual circumstances—with the help of
the attacks of the opposing side—and new properties and qualities created on the
battlefield allowed me to create something absolutely new that neither I, nor my enemies
ever had. It all took place in action!

Certainly, I did it without knowing whether I would succeed or not, but all the same
I had no alternative. If I had not done it, very likely to the great joy of some reading these

words, nobody would have written them.

* * *
However, whether someone likes it or not, for the time being I was able to find
solutions in these kind of situations and that is why I can write these lines, thus arousing
indignation in my enemies and ill-wishers, which causes me no concern whatsoever.
Actually, I am grateful to my enemies who tried to destroy me—their actions aimed to
kill me using my weak points, but instead indicated the failings in my defense and often
involuntarily prompted the previously unknown to me information that allowed me to
develop quickly.

When you go along an absolutely new way alone, you are unaware of what you are
looking for and where to search for it. It is still like in a Russian fairytale—“go there,
don’t know where; bring that, don’t know what!” In a situation like this, the actions of
my enemies, who knew much that I had no idea of then, rendered me an invaluable
service; indicating by their actions, my omissions or unknown things.

Certainly, my enemies “helpers” pursued a quite different end, but because of the
fact that I succeeded in finding ways out of seemingly hopeless situations quickly, they
became powerful catalysts of my development instead of destroying me. The secret of
this paradox was that, when my enemies tried to destroy me, they influenced me, using
their secret weapon and matters and structures, which I lacked or knew nothing about.

But, at the moment of application of those matters and structures, when they tried
to destroy my bodies and structures, I began to scan and analyze them. As a result, I got
the necessary information for creating new bodies and structures, and often it gave me
missing “pieces of mosaic” to build something absolutely new. And quite often, these
pieces, found in this way, allowed me to make a qualitative jump in my development.

Indeed!

However, there were some unpleasant moments. Their actions against me were far
from pleasant—they were aimed at my elimination and when they were carried out, they
caused quite painful feelings accompanied by an enormous load on my organism and
my brain; at that moment there was a partial destruction of the bodies of my spirit,
structures of my brain, etc. Therefore, as I mentioned before, I had to act as quickly and
effectively as I could to prevent them from completing their mission, otherwise, death

Back to contents
110