Page 205 - The Mirror of My Soul. Vol. 1

Nicolai Levashov. The Mirror of My Soul. Vol. 1. Born in the USSR

they had no moral right to take money for “treatment”, because they did not have any

experience and had not healed anyone, even of a cold, they rebelled.

Two of them protested. They said that I did not know how to conduct business, etc.
They even blamed me for earning more money for my work than they, when I gave them
a salary of 900 roubles per month, and I got 1200. They were getting 900 roubles per
47
month in 1989-1990 and this was quite big money , but for some reason they forgot that
this money was paid out of my earnings for the work which I did and had nothing to do
with them! The problem was that according to Soviet law I had no right to receive such
an enormous salary. That is why I decided to do a good deed and to enter their names on

the salary list, because they were both unemployed then. I just wanted to help them. I
heard this kind of reproach in the case of the trip to Hungary—they went there, because
I insisted.

I will not repeat what I heard from them. I was very much surprised that they
considered all this to be normal and took it for granted. Sometimes it turns out to be a
very strange thing: you try to do some good for a person, he takes it for granted and starts

to demand more, because he thinks that if something is done for him, he deserves even
more.

One way or another, the situation reached a critical point and I decided to cross my
“t's”. I said that I had been observing their behavior for a long time and if they wished
to discuss problems that had arisen then they should listen to what I thought about the
situation. I told them everything, what I thought about their conduct and the essence of
their actions, and that I was glad that they had showed me their true selves so quickly.
Probably, someone else may have found their true personality quite normal, but to me,
they were disgusting and I said so. I also informed them that from this moment on they
could do their own “business” and I had no wish to see them around me anymore.

After that they remained totally aloof and looked at me as if I were their enemy.
Most likely, they thought that I would continue to carry them on my back and were very
surprised that I stopped doing it. They were yet more surprised that people, to whom
they began to offer their services with-out me, did not even want to speak to them,
although, I told no one that they were no longer with me. When they were asked, whether
I knew about their actions and they said that they were now “on their own”, their service

was politely declined. Obviously, they thought that they fully deserved the respectful
attitude which people expressed toward them when they were with me and later were
surprised that no one even wanted to listen to them.

But this will happen later, and meanwhile they celebrated their “freedom” from my
ridiculous moral admonitions, as they thought then. They finally got the possibility to
do, what they wanted to do, and they wanted only one thing—money, as much as
possible and started frenetically to make money, making no secret of this fact. I was
sorry to observe how before my very eyes, avidity made those people who I had known
for several years, lose their human appearance. It was obvious that they had a weak moral
core which quickly disappeared when they saw the prosperity of other people.

And the crux of the matter was not the fact that I would be offended if they earned

money: it was just that they never healed anyone, they did not know how to do it, and

47 The average salary of a Soviet engineer was average 120 roubles.
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