Page 131 - The Mirror of My Soul. Vol. 1
P. 131
Nicolai Levashov. The Mirror of My Soul. Vol. 1. Born in the USSR
internal organs of humans, but they were not able to travel in time and space
independently.
Nevertheless, even their participating in events as “passengers” developed their
sense of self-importance very quickly. They behaved normally in my presence, but,
when they were among other people, they began to create a halo of grandeur around
themselves. Gradually I became for some of them a “thorn in the flesh”, an impediment
to the creation of their “divine” halo. Besides, some “well-wishers” helped them to do
it. They eulogized them and begged for help. Often this help was required in affairs very
far from being virtuous. But they were paid well for it, they were “respected”, they had
felt their “force” and saw evident confirmation of their “power”, as well as other people
saw it.
It appeared that not everyone could pass the test of new “superabilities” as a result
of the qualitative change in brain structures, or as I would say—brain modification. A
lot of them craved that the rest of the world should know about it, they desired
acknowledgement and corresponding “deserved” recompense. In other words,
megalomania was developing. I never could understand this reaction. In fact their
“superabilities” appeared as a result of the brain modification which I did for them.
Before, they had nothing of the kind! These abilities were not their own achievements;
they were a gift!
Why not simply use this gift and do something good, although relatively small, but
useful!? In order to do anything greater, it is necessary to accumulate experience, to learn
to use these abilities correctly, to develop them. But time and labour is needed for this,
a lot of labour. And they wanted to have everything immediately.
* * *
Partly, this was my fault and my responsibility. When, observing my actions, they
wanted to do the same, I tried to support them, not create an inferiority complex in them.
I tried to encourage them, saying that if they went through everything that I had gone
through or went further, they would reach what they desired. It was true, only for some
reason they thought that it would be very easy and that they already could do more than
I.
Most likely, the outward appearance of ease with which I operated played a wicked
trick on them. Besides, their participation in my work as observers also created an
illusion that it was pretty easy. It seemed to me that it would be incorrect to “rub their
noses in it” when they made mistakes; it could result in an inferiority complex. I thought
that they would understand what it was all about, but it did not happen.
I did not allow the eulogizing of me and did not eulogize them. I felt this kind of
behaviour to be a sign of small-mindedness and foolishness. I considered that it was
necessary to work instead of “bathing” in the rays of one’s illusive “grandeur.” I was
always interested in solving the problem and not in what this solution would bring me
personally. From my personal experience I can say that those problems, which I
succeeded in solving, brought me nothing except for small or big troubles. I mention this
as a fact and not in order to “cry on someone’s shoulder.” In fact, I did not expect any
other reaction to my deeds.
I understood perfectly that many (if not all) of my actions had stuck in the “throat”
of both “local” and “foreign” parasites. It did not stop me, on the contrary, every time I
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