Page 268 - The Mirror of My Soul. Vol. 1

Nicolai Levashov. The Mirror of My Soul. Vol. 1. Born in the USSR

I told her to try to sleep and, making sure that everything was all right, went back

to my place. In the morning I called her. There was no threat to her health any more.
Nevertheless, I went to the hotel to check her condition once again. I worked with her a
little to put her to rights as quickly as possible. Her “friend”, as you may assume,
disappeared without trace. Certainly, she neither was abducted by aliens, nor did she
“fall” into a parallel world. The next day she simply headed for home, without even
warning her “best friend”.

As soon as Svetlana took my side, she also began to lead a “merry life”. Giving her
poison was just the first foray. When those behind the actions of Svetlana’s “friend”
understood that they could not make her change her mind, using poison or something
similar, they began to use other methods. They began a series of pretty powerful mental
beatings. Considering her natural sensitivity, these blows were especially strong for
Svetlana: they were inflicted by people she knew and who threatened to eliminate her if
she continued to co-operate with me.

She was told that she would be ground into dust, threatened that her son would not
live, if she rejected their demands to betray me. They insinuated that her father, whom

she loved very much, had a weak heart and one day it could “suddenly” stop. When these
words did not produce the effect they wanted, they began to act. They began to hit her
ever more strongly. The blows were of such strength that they knocked Svetlana out of
her body. Sometimes as a result of these blows she appeared to be in a deep coma, when
the signs of life were barely distinguishable, sometimes—as far as clinical death. Every
time I succeeded in returning her to a normal state; although sometimes her
“disconnection” lasted pretty long—an hour, and sometimes two!

After each blow I both returned Svetlana to life and made some transformation in
order to prevent this from happening again. But “friends” struck a new blow in another
place and I had to restore her again and create new qualities and properties to protect her
from this continual beating. When the blows of local “guys” failed to get the desired
results, they complained to their overlords who then began to beat Svetlana themselves,
and these blows were now much more serious…

I had already made two attempts to create a family and I now did not think that this
was possible for me. An “ordinary” woman could not understand my aims and values in
principle, and women “advanced” in such matters almost always appeared to be self-
enamoured egoists who enjoyed their “delusions of grandeur” which I had been able to
observe from my own experience. Be-sides, a relationship just for the sake of it never
interested me.
Love always meant for me first and foremost a union of kindred souls and therefore,
I had thought that I would be alone for the rest of my life. When I met this beautiful and

clever woman, Svetlana, I rejoiced, because here was a person who indeed understood
what I said, who was interested in what I did and what the purpose of my life was. I can
always see when a person indeed understands or is only pretending that he understands.

Naturally I began to have a soft spot for Svetlana and was afraid that if I began to
speak about something greater than friendship, I would spoil everything. I wanted very
much to preserve this kinship of souls and not frighten it away “by saying something
stupid”: moreover, my past experience had not inclined me to take the romantic route.
But I saw with my own eyes how Svetlana fought for that toward which she had been

Back to contents
268