Page 36 - The Mirror of My Soul. Vol. 1

Nicolai Levashov. The Mirror of My Soul. Vol. 1. Born in the USSR

think that it was worse than the other students’ work. Indeed, it wasn’t possible in our

chair to put “excellent” to all, besides the dean’s office was not fond of me. I was a
constant headache for them, because of my meticulous questions. They also knew about
my experiments and their results, because I hid nothing and the whole university
“buzzed” about them.

Yes, by the way—about my experiments—I would like to mention some
phenomena, which I ran into during my studies at the university...
As I have already said, during my first year I lived in the student hostel, because I
came from another city. In my second year I decided to rent a flat, because life in the

hostel did not suit me. Although I did manage to maintain a certain order—the light had
to be turned off at exactly 23.00 in our three person room, nevertheless, I did not have
the authority (or the right) to require that every-body kept silence at night.

An old woman rented me a room. She had leg problems; they were covered with
ulcers be-cause of bad circulation. These ulcers caused her a lot of trouble and were quite
painful. Usually, a person always talks about his diseases, especially, when a constant
pain reminds him of their existence. However, I wasn’t ready to listen to this for all
eternity. Therefore, after I had listened several dozen times to this remarkable and “very
educational” story at first hand, I was so “inspired” by this problem (of global
proportions) that I decided to do something. In my boyhood, my mother used to treat
what she called my “heroic wounds” with a salicylic-zinc ointment, after which they
healed strikingly quickly.

So, to solve a huge problem, I remembered about the wonder-working ointment
and said that my hostess should test it. The old woman didn’t believe that it would work
a miracle, especially when she knew that the price of a jar of this ointment was only 5
kopecks. She said that she tried all the ointments prescribed by her doctor and none of

them was able to help her, although many of them were priced from 3 to 5 rubles.

On one hand, I wanted to help her, on the other—to be rid of such “instructive”
narrations. Therefore, I suggested that she should try it, because the situation could not
be worse. No sooner said than done. I personally went to the pharmacy and found this
“wonderful” ointment. To my great joy after a short time of application all her ulcers
disappeared. Moreover, the mobility of her legs returned.

The old woman began even to shop, and that suited me perfectly. After this case I
began to recommend this ointment to everyone as a wonder-working remedy but for

some “reason” it did not perform its “miraculous” cures. For some time I could not
understand why. Only after couple of years, when I was engaged in my “metaphysical”
research, did it became clear to me that the “matter” was in me and not in the ointment.

My unconscious (at that time) desire that this old woman had her ulcers healed was
sufficient to charge the ointment with my energy that would contain this program. It was
only due to my ignorance that I attributed this effect to the action of the ointment instead
of myself. This error was caused because there was rapid cicatrisation in my own case,

consisted in investigation of laws, patterns, ways, and forms of class struggle, Socialist revolution, development of
Socialism and construction of Communism. Passing exams in Scientific Communism was an obligatory prerequisite in
obtaining any postgraduate scientific degree in the Soviet Union. Typical courses of study included the following topics,
among others: origins and development of the communist theory, theory of socialist revolution, International Communist
movement, dictatorship of the proletariat, transformation of Socialism into Communism, socialist democracy, communist
interpersonal relations and upbringing, criticisms of the anti-Communism.
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