Page 37 - The Mirror of My Soul. Vol. 1

Nicolai Levashov. The Mirror of My Soul. Vol. 1. Born in the USSR

when I used this ointment. Simply when my mother dabbed this ointment into my “battle

wounds” and told me that now everything would be better, it began to heal very quickly,
I trusted her, thought about it and the “miracle” occurred.

Only then I did not connect this “miracle” with myself or with the influence of my
mother. I only saw the result and thought it was the action of the ointment. How would
I know that the like of this never happened to other users of this ointment?! As I did not
know it, it was fully natural that I would assume what happened to me was the action of
the ointment. This example shows evidently, how the absence of complete information
could result in wrong deductions and conclusions.

I was lucky that I succeeded in clarifying the matter of the action of the ointment
before too long and understood that it was not the ointment that operated, but my
thoughts of the renewal and cicatrisation of tissues transformed the ointment and made
it the transmitter of the healing program.

But at that time I did not understand all of it and was very content with the fact that
the ointment “healed” my hostess. After this I also told her that sometimes a very cheap

ointment could help perfectly when the most expensive things money can buy appeared
to be useless and that it is not always the price that determines the efficacy. I erred and
deceived the others without any bad motive only due to misunderstanding (the
effectiveness of the ointment).

There was another reason, why I was content with the “miraculous” healing. Before
it, the task of purchasing and delivering food for my hostess was laid entirely on my
shoulders, in direct and figurative senses. It was not a huge problem for me, as I bought
the food for me too. Sometimes I simply had to go and buy things especially for her.
Those who still remember the Soviet times with a deficit of almost everything and
enormous queues will understand me perfectly...

My budget consisted of my grant, which was higher than most students of that time
(the ordinary grant was forty rubles per month, and an increased grant was forty five.)
At our faculty of radio physics an ordinary grant was fifty five rubles and I got the
increased grant—sixty three rubles in my initial years, and in my senior years—sixty
eight, nevertheless, it did not allow the buying of all products on the black market.

Due to the absence of meat in the Soviet shops and the lack of “good connections”
among the “elite” of that time—butchers and similar “comrades” who specialized in
selling food via the “back door”—I had to buy meat two or three times a month,
10
sunflower-seed oil and all the necessities for cooking borsch at Kharkovs’ market. This
economical activity did pretty serious damage to my financial state. However, the
“socialist planning” of my budget brought its “fruit”—I never was short of cash.

Sure, my parents could send me money but it was not acceptable to me. I considered

myself a grown up and was convinced that I must help my parents, not the contrary.
Although, at that time I could not help them with money but I was not going to be a
burden to them. I went to the student building group after I finished my first year to earn
a little money.

When I decided to rent a room, I wanted to work at our chair for half the salary:
and only after pretty tense debates with my parents, especially with my mother, I agreed

10 The Ukrainian national dish, a soup made of meat and vegetables - beetroot, potato, cabbage and carrot.
Back to contents
37